Why Dan sucks balls:

Dan is my roommate and a complete asshole. I usually don't have much trouble getting along with people, but I can't stand him for many reasons. So why is he such a terrible person? Glad you asked! let me explain.

Dan is a big, tall, fat kid. Now I don't know if he grew up always being bigger than the other kids, but somewhere along the line he developed the 'bully' mindset. Dan constantly says things like "Because I was so much taller than everyone there" and "It wouldn't be a problem for me to beat you up Van" and "That just because I'm so big." He is extremely arrogant about his size as if that somehow makes him a better person. He will bring up being "big" and "tall" as often as possible, especially if there are girls present. If there ARE girls present he feels obligated to talk about how much bigger he is than any of them.

Dan is extremely stubborn, he will argue about anything, ANYTHING. The other day Dan came in to tell me that Diablo 3 (a video game) had been announced. I'm the biggest Diablo fan in the world so I told him that I already knew which obviously pissed off Dan because he believes that he knows more about anything than anybody. He went on to say that Diablo 3 was being released in December. Now I've been a Blizzard fan for years and I knew that there was no release date set for Diablo (Blizzard won't set release dates until a few weeks before the game will be sold) so I politely pointed that out to him, he refused to believe me. We went to check the website where he claimed to have gotten his news, of course it wasn't there. Did Dan accept that he was wrong at this point? Hell no! He claimed that the website only shows the release dates SOMETIMES, and that perhaps something was different with my internet browser.

Dan cannot share. If somebody was watching TV and stepped out of the room to go to the bathroom or something like that he will quickly snatch up the remote control and refuse to give it back. This is extremely annoying because the only thing that he likes to watch is Law and Order and the Disney channel.

Dan has the loudest. most annoying laugh in the entire world. If nobody laughs at his joke (which is almost always the case) Dan will just laugh louder to make up for silence. Or he will just go on to explain how funny the joke he just told is. OOOH! is that why it's funny Dan? forgive me! I didn't catch that, allow me to laugh this time. He also feels the need to criticize any joke or witty anecdote made by another person, is that because he's jealous that he didn't think of it first? There's no doubt in my mind.

Dan served a mission to Mexico and is enormously proud of the fact that he can speak Spanish. Once again, as with all of the things Dan is proud of, he talks about his ability to speak Spanish constantly, and somehow thinks it makes him a better person. Guess what Dan, South America is full of people who can do it even better than you, so shut up.

Why am I so pissed off at Dan right now? Time for another story. So my roommates and I went to the store to pick up some groceries and on the way home I called shotgun (Dan was driving) What idiotic thought compelled me to want to sit up front with him, I don't know. After we stopped at Sonic burger to get some food for Rob, Dan commanded me to put on my seatbelt. At this point I just got sick of putting up with his terrible manners and told him to "say please." OF COURSE he refused. Why did I even ask? Did I think that I could change a lifetime of appalling behavior just like that? Maybe I'm an optimist, but probably just a fool. Well I decided to match Daniel's stubbornness in kind and walked home. Not to give him the satisfaction of making me suffer let me just say this: it was very pleasant weather, and I enjoyed the walk! Take that fucker!