Things I'm Scared of

I'm scared of going bald. Why oh why did God create baldness? It just seems cruel! My mom's dad is bald, and has been so since his late twenties. From what I've been told, that means I only have a precious little while before I end up in the same boat. I hoped that by the time I got into my 20's they would have developed a full-on cure for baldness! Baldness is usually terrible, but there are a few ways (from my observation) to pull it off:

1. Shave your head(bic) and get really buff. I'll call this the Bruce Willis approach. Pros: makes you more scary/tough looking. Cons: Still not as good looking as somebody with a full head of hair, why do you think Demi left him for Ashton?

2. Cut your hair really short (maybe a 1 or 2 setting on clippers) and grow a beard of about the same length. Pros: makes you look more distinguished and smart. Cons: also makes you appear older.

3. Shave your head and become a monk. Pros: might reach nirvana, become an enlightened being. Cons: might not reach it, never have sex etc...

I'm also scared of Gorillas. I've read that a male Silverback can lift up to 20 times as much as a human male! If you happened to upset one of these beasts it could easily crush your skull, or tear your limbs from their sockets. What are the chances of upsetting a Silverback if you are around one? I'd have to assume the chances are pretty good! Gorillas are extremely intelligent, and like humans, can become extremely unpredictable. One minute you're chilling with a Gorilla doing sign-language and eating bananas, next minute you're competing in the special Olympics and eating your meals through a straw. They can (will) mess you up!

Girls. Like Gorillas, girls are extremely unpredictable and hard to understand. A girl can easily put on a facade and act like somebody is her best friend in the entire world, but the next second rip on them like there is no tomorrow. "Hold up Danny!" you say "you're mean, look at that post you made about Daniel! don't act like you're a saint when it comes to human relations!" You're correct, I have disagreements and feuds, and although Daniel might not know about the Blog post I made about him, he is fully aware that I don't care much for him at all. Girls always treat me nice to my face but I have no idea what kinds of things they are saying when I'm gone! and I'm scared to find out! This is the one fact that makes women more frightening than most other creatures on the entire planet, that and the whole period thing. Another frightening thing about girls is how they think. Scientifically speaking a woman's brain is far more active than a Man's brain, and it's amazing to see some of the crap that comes out of there! A girl can see relationships and connections between things that I could never see in a billion years. For example: "OMG, Shelly is such a bitch! when I waved to her today she only gave me the finger-wave back! That means she thinks my ass is big!" You don't see the connection? me neither.

Bees. Nah just kidding, I'm not scared of bees, my roommate Bob is.